After a much needed girls night I was sitting at a table full of girls when one of them responded to me saying “I wish I could just sleep at a guys house, and not do anything with him” her nonchalant comment flew over everyone’s head as they all agreed and we moved on to our next subject but this resonated with me. I am the strongest believer of doing exactly what you want to do, and if that means not sleeping with this drunk boy you don’t know that well, then don’t do it? I remember when I came into college I used to have almost this guilt that if I slept at a boys house that meant I HAD to hook up with him. Who came up with this logic? Why is it not a normal thing??? The only difference between freshman me- afraid of making these boys angry because I wouldn’t do anything with them, and me now is simple- I’m confident. I am so confident with myself and if a boy (yes I say boy because most are not men yet) wants to react because I won’t hookup with him, then he is not someone I should even bother surrounding myself with.

Living in a college town has taught me that there are super shitty people in this world, and anyone will walk all over you the second they have the chance to. Don’t give them the chance.

Since coming to college I have learned a lot about myself, far more than I thought I’d learn. College has taught me the most about self worth, which is sadly surprising as I find myself surrounded by young adults who do not feel the same way. I put my own happiness and mental health on such a pedestal, and am very observant of behaviors and patterns around me. What I have found, huge surprise I’m sure no one on this world has figured out yet- we all just want to feel loved!!!!!!!

Where we go wrong is the way in which we try to fill this void of absent love that resonates so hard with us while at college and far away from home. If you want love and affection, you may find affection in your hookup, but it won’t fulfill the burning desire you don’t want to admit you have. Everybody wants to feel loved. Even the biggest douchebags on campus, are probably hiding the want for love behind their glasses and snapback they can’t leave the house without (maybe that’s just an FSU thing).

You’re pouring a part of yourself out to people who have no desire to fill you back up, and you end up feeling a little bit emptier, and a little more disappointed every time. Stop draining yourself for temporary pleasure that you’re confusing with happiness.

I’ve noticed over the years that I don’t really get angry or mad, I get frustrated. At the core of my negative emotions there is never anger, it is always the frustration of things being out of my control that gets the best of me in times when I am not experiencing full complete happiness. So I’m working on taking a breather. Taking a step back and really internalizing that some things just don’t deserve a reaction, and especially not a reaction that is draining me.

Doing this has made me pay closer attention to the art of ~forgiveness~

Nothing says swallow your pride and accept disappointment quite like forgiving someone. My issue has never been with forgiving people, it’s with the feelings I have afterward that completely eat me up inside. Questioning why they did something that now needs to be forgiven is the part of forgiveness that gets to me.

Not that I’m an angel or never do anything wrong (although that’s another issue I have for another post), but I definitely do not seek forgiveness very often.

Forgiving people around you makes you feel lighter. You’re no longer carrying around that heavy feeling of disappointment because your standards of how you would handle something weren’t met. There’s silver linings in every bad thing that happens to you, learn from them. Take everything in as a lesson, if its not teaching you something then change the way you’re looking at it. You mindset is so powerful, you have the power to completely change how you view the world. Forgive those around you, nothing bad will come from it.

xoxo

I like to move throughout my day with something in mind.

I don’t know where this stemmed from because I don’t think there were ever hard instilled values growing up— I wasn’t raised with an extremely strict parenting style, however I feel as if my siblings and I always just knew right from wrong. We weren’t religious so I couldn’t acclimate my want to move through the world with thoughtfulness from following a religious set of values. I don’t know exactly when it was that I realized I operate best this way. But i’m noticing that it has made me feel much different than I did prior to doing this.

I simply take on a new task. I do something little. Lighting a candle when I would remember to, I did this because I preferred the smell of my room when candles burned but it didn’t always occur to me to burn them. So then I made it a task to burn candles as often as I could remember.

I gave myself a task. It’s something to be thinking about throughout your day. It makes me feel as though I am consistently stimulating my brain throughout the day. My newest task is collecting cool lighters. (I only have one at the moment but baby steps okay). The jar I have for this collection of lighters is an old cleaned out candle. First ever candle I completely burned to the bottom. Yup, I got into the habit of burning candles and burned one completely through! It’s the little things!!! 

Be mindful of something throughout your day. Whether it’s holding doors open for people, actively trying to think positively, or even be more present in the moment! You’ll feel accomplished when you get home knowing you put in effort all day to do something you don’t typically pay attention to!

xoxo

I try really hard to make my days the most productive I can. I plan accordingly— way more than I’d like to admit. Some days fall short. Most days fall short. But i’m trying, I pre plan, work out the details and give myself the full opportunity to successfully accomplish all that I planned to get done that day.

Most importantly, I don’t beat myself up.

Personally I have noticed that being overly hard on myself created some sort of negative inner relationship with yourself? Bare with my lack of identifying feelings. I think that setting high expectations, aiming for them, and being okay with falling short creates a really beneficial relationship between you and yourself. You’re not being hard on yourself for not accomplishing what you had set out. I’ve noticed that by doing this, rather than forcing myself and creating something forceful, I was creating a relationship where I simply wanted to do better. I found myself afterwards looking at my day and thinking where I could have been more productive. I don’t let it eat me up, but I have a feeling of “oh shit, honestly I could’ve done that”. I slowly convince myself just how attainable it is.

I did this with food for a long time. If i was on a huge clean eating kick and I wanted something that didn’t follow those guidelines I’d let myself eat it. Right after eating it I’d think “ok that honestly was not worth it” which in turn made me want to not eat that because I realized it wasn’t worth it, rather than forcing myself to completely cut it out. This kind of mindset with things created a super genuine relationship with whatever it is I’m trying to attain. I end up doing or not doing something, simply because I want to, not because I feel as though I have to. 

I shared this theory with someone and they said “oh yeah that’d never work for me” SO take with a grain of salt!

xoxo

These things are affecting you because you are choosing to let it. Yes, ignorant statement. Awful things can be going on in your life that are so out of your realm of control, however; if thats the case, why don’t we control what we can? Our mindset. Our mind is seriously one of the dopest tools we’re given, so why not utilize it? Seriously. This shit is crazy complex. Scientifically, I know absolutely nothing about how our brains works or the chemistry of whatever is going on up there. What I do know is how I think, and just how strong my simple thoughts are and the effect they then have on my life.

Where you direct your energy, how you direct your energy, and the people you share your energy with are all crucial in feeding your soul. This isn’t an easy thing to do. Half the time you have to completely soul search and find what it is that makes you genuinely happy- the happiness you feel in your soul that is difficult to put into words. People? Music? Hobbies? Structure? Values? Completely different aspects of life have different weight for everyone, which is what makes everyone so unique. This is what makes life so fucking cool, every single person is experiencing a completely different journey, but yet you still get to be a part of theirs and they’re still a part of yours- even when we have different purposes for each other. (Crazy thought that I haven’t fully wrapped my head around yet).

I don’t think we realize how much control we have over our life simply by choosing where and how to direct our thoughts. Simple things, annoying glass half full things, create the world of difference. Even if they have absolutely no weight in the beginning, this mindset becomes natural, and you can’t help but to find yourself looking at most things with the lightest heart. Living lightly becomes addicting. I’m not saying become Ghandi, but I am saying look at things in a positive light. Life is short. Why spend any of it unhappy when you have control to change it?

Start each day with a grateful heart!!!

Thanks for reading! xoxo

So, I’ve made jokes about not having a hobby for a while now- they came off as jokes but internally I was freaking out. How did I not have something that was my “thing”???? I grew up playing soccer so if I was ever asked, that was my go to. It’s been 4 years, I need to accept that I no longer can say I’m a soccer player. I needed to let it go.

One day my roommate and I were talking about our hobbies and I said “I think mine is being level headed”. (Just know, to this day I am still made fun of for saying that.) BUT, this really made me realize I needed to find my thing.

So, I woke up one morning with the bright idea of “hey, I’m gonna start a blog” and here I am!

I don’t really have a vision of what I want this blog to look like but I needed a space to put all of my thoughts so that I could have somewhere to look at all of them and I thought that sharing my thought processes on everyday topics might be interesting!

Anyways with that being said, I hope you enjoy your time!

gabi xoxo